this week isn't turning out too badly as expected, but hopefully I didn't just jinx myself.
I was cleaning up my hotmail inbox today...and it's actually pretty cool how I just left alot of old emails lying around. Because now when I looked through them, I got a nice self-reflection of myself and things that happened.
The history only went as far as first year...warren and tiff sending me stuff for uni, my excitement of meeting a particular female, first year stress, a few correspondents from online forums, Yoda's Yarn stuff (good old days), beach days in the summer, yearly carols by candlelight, all the oxygen and lifegroup invitations, Queensland organisation, parents forwarding me stuff, family emails when everyone is overseas, recent fights, old fights, old romances, new romances.
I wrote to one of my old correspondents, just cause we used to talk a lot, and while I was writing, I thought, what has changed since I last talked to him. I'm in university now...old and new friends..some new experiences. But other than that; I'm just the same?
I wonder if me being the same since three years ago is a good thing. Surely I should be changing as a person (hopefully for the better), but I don't think I have. Same interests, same kind of life style.
I did do a self-journey thing awhile back, made me more certain of where I was going and what I wanted to do. Coming up to graduation year is not to be taken lightly. Yet personal changes have never quite come around. I feel like I'm stuck in a black hole, unable to break free of being me.
teoh,
4 comments:
ahhh...i should have known that u might update this today... :P
also, if it isn't intruding into your personal affairs,may I add that 'not changing' isn't exactly a bad thing. If anything, it portrays u as a strong-minded person (I could be wrong :P). The only reason one feels the need to change is when the circumstances surrounding them require them to, or plainly 'if they are trying to impress someone' (source: ME!!! :D:D). Therefore enjoy 'being yourself' while u can... :):)
PS: hopefully u don't change...if u do, then I wont have anyone singing Super Mario theme songs with me!!! :P:P
imo it's not so much about breaking free of being yourself, because you are what you are.
but it's more like a flowing river.. lol =]
no, but really, when you step into that river, even after just a split second, because of the current, the river you stepped in isn't the same river anymore. it's flowed on~
and like for all of us, each second passes and we've changed and have become a second older than what we were before.
so we look back and think how we could have done things differently if we were given a second chance (for better or for worse) and that's when you realised you've changed in a very real way.
imo that's one way you can identify change anyway.
(river analogy borrowed and used completely out of the original context lol)
Haha, don't worry elisha, that part of me will never change =P thanks for your kind words, I'll hold them to you when you're bagging me.
The river analogy is so useful isn't it ling, haha. I suppose we're always changing. I think I acknowledge I change in terms of time, experience, but not changing in a personal way? A change that is brought upon myself maybe..cause I'm too lazy to change it. *shrugs
remember who you're talking to about being lazy lol
hang on there's something i can't write here. i'll fb msg you =p
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